The Pulitzer Prize Dis-Honors: Horned Mice, New Female Vice, and DeSantis Makes Nice

Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism worthy of a skewed version of Pulitzer Prize consideration.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From the Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions for the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. To properly recognize the low watermark in the press, let us get right to the latest exemplars of journalistic mis-excellence.

Distinguished National Reporting

  •  Scott Wong – NBC News

When it comes to coverage of Ron DeSantis, the press’ obsession is such that it could warrant a separate, dedicated column. For instance, the current “scandal,” based on claims from unnamed, former staffers, goes like this: the governor once ate pudding with his fingers in front of a group of people. In this same vein, there was this unhelpful non-story about DeSantis during his years in Congress.

It declares that as a House member, he was not known as an especially outgoing and friendly sort. However, today, many in Congress favor him with an eye on the upcoming race for the White House. So, maybe the story is: over the span of five years, he learned how to make friends?

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • Amy DeLaura – Washington Examiner

In a new report from the redundantly-named National Institute of Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse, a new benchmark was achieved in 2022 in the measurement of indulgent imbibing.

It has been announced that for the first time ever, more women were recorded binge drinking than men. This is attributed to coming out of the pandemic but does not fully explain why women partake more than men now. Unless it means men never really stopped drinking during the pandemic.

It’s extremely fitting that women achieve this historic accomplishment during Women’s History Month.

Distinguished Sports Reporting

  • Clinton Yates – Andscape

At the ESPN-owned sports outlet, there was a rather curious approach to the World Baseball Classic, taking place this week. With teams from across the globe coming together to play, Mr. Yates had a proposal that was very — we’ll say, “unique.”

His idea was to split up American players and form two teams to enter into the tournament. That is, he wanted to divide up the US-born players. Specifically, he wanted segregated teams.

While we’re in the business of playing reasonably fast and loose with our concepts of nationality, let’s try a thought experiment. What if the United States fielded a team of Black Americans? Would MLB ever go for this? Highly unlikely. But don’t forget: The reason the game was even segregated to begin with was their idea.

Distinguished Cultural Criticism

  • Yashee Sharma – Sky News

In Australia, they announced a recall for a beer. Your Mates Brewing Company has issued a product recall for its Watermelon Sour. It has been discovered that the product was prone to secondary fermentation after canning, and as a result, it can contain higher alcohol levels than is announced on the label.

The lead question, of course, is: who was complaining?!

Distinguished Editorial Writing

  • Eric Dolan – PsyPost

A new psychological study looked into the (over)reported backlash from fans of “Star Wars” towards characters that have been introduced and come from differing ethnic groups or genders. The study delved into fan groups and chatrooms to glean information from those declaring negative comments about the new characters.

A new study suggests that racist and sexist attitudes may be driving some Star Wars fans’ dislike of the newer, more diverse characters in the franchise. [Some] fans have lashed out over the inclusion of diverse characters. The authors behind the new study sought to scientifically investigate the role of prejudice in the backlash.

That is to say: The authors have concluded that the racist and/or sexist comments were the direct result of racism or sexism found in select fans.

Distinguished Breaking News

  • Sabrina Gamrot – Blog TO

The power of the press has delivered a natural right back to our canine brethren. Thanks to an initial investigation by this Toronto-based outlet, local city officials have backed down from a new ordinance and announced that signs they had installed previously will be taken down.

Yes, thanks to the intrepid work of these local journalists, dogs in Toronto’s dog parks will once again be free to bark as they see fit.

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • Jack Dunhill – IFL Science

If you have been wondering why it has taken so long to find a cure for cancer…

I know better than to criticize science – since that is forbidden – but I still have to wonder about it sometimes. This is sounding like the logline of a movie made by the production studio, The Asylum.

Some scientists have been tinkering with the species, spending their time by inserting deer genes into the mouse genome. The results suggest that mammals that have lost the ability to regenerate organs may still contain some regenerative genes, and that it may be possible to harness the rapid growth in other applications.

At least, those are the excuses given for why the teams have developed mice that now have the ability to grow antlers.



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