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Fresh Off a Private Jet, Lurch Declares ‘Climate Emergency Time’ for Us Peasants

In the annals of the well-traveled and exceptionally privileged global elite, few have been more obnoxiously pedantic, pestiferous, and pretentious than horse-faced patrician John Kerry.


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What a risible boob.

From the time the world first heard the sonorous intonations of the self-aggrandizing Forbes family socialite from Massachusetts, he has managed to irritate the holier-than-thou crap out of everyone.

He came close to admitting how off-putting some of his pretentiousness was during the renewed firestorm over his Vietnam anti-war testimony and activism brought on by his ‘reporting for duty’ as the 2004 Democratic nominee for president. Close.

Never have I heard ‘Khan’ pronounced à la Kerry again.

@brianregantiktok Genghis Khan – From #OnTheRocks – Streaming on @netflix @netflixisajoke #brianregan #standupcomedy #fyp ♬ original sound – Brian Regan

Irritating? 

Well nigh insufferable.

Somehow this Boston Brahmin blowhard has managed to claw his way up the political ladder despite himself and his lack of actual accomplishments in any office he occupies. It has to be his Lurch-like presence intimidating voters into believing this is the statesman for the job.

Kerry’s loss to W should have been the end of him politically. He’d been so thoroughly unmasked as a poseur. A hugely hypocritical pretender who railed about paying your fair share of your paltry portion whilst hiding his super-rich wife’s yacht in another state’s harbor to avoid paying his own on its value.

There’s nothing relatable about John Kerry.

He took over as Secretary of State from the noxious Hillary Clinton, and that’s when his climate change advocacy really began to flower. It might have been that the taxpayers were now footing the bill for his constant globe-trotting to far-off places on matters of great importance, and seeing the world at 40,000 feet from the comfort of a Gulfstream makes you appreciate it more.


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Whatever the impetus, Kerry was sold on selling us – well. Actually, he did his part to force a bill of goods down our throats by signing the Paris Climate Agreement on behalf of the country before he stepped down as Sec State.

Kerry will forever be the virtue-signaling patrician who knows what’s best for the peasants.

For some reason unknown to mankind, POTATUS anointed this insufferable snob as the very first ‘US presidential envoy for climate,’ which, since ‘envoy’ is French, suited Kerry beautifully. It got him back onto the government meal train as someone special, back on the world stage to thunder climate doom and gloom, and back into his beloved rarified air transportation.

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And didn’t he get pissy when called on it.

Gracious. How did we expect the man to represent us at the Davos WEF get-togethers year after year if he couldn’t hop on a private jet?

No one appreciates the urgency of the situation or the challenges of being Kerry in a world full of knuckle-draggers.

I’m sure it was hard for him to step away from being the ‘Climate Czar,‘ but he did so this past March to help POTATUS run for president.


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Heh.

And now? Welp.

Trump.

So what does Kerry have left to do in these few months of self-important pseudo-relevance before Americans gratefully wash the Green Grift from their hands and start seriously tilting at windmills?

What disdainful elites do best.

Scold, scold, and forever…

…what a frickin’ scold.

I feel confident the office of US Presidential Envoy for Climate (current occupant, the cretinous John Podesta) will be one of the very first to suffer a fatal DOGE bite courtesy of Vivek and Elon’s new efficiency mandate.

The only thing that could have made that news sweeter would have been watching Kerry pack his bags and listening to the dark mutters on his way out the door.

Not having him anywhere near a pen and not having to listen to him anymore will do just fine.


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