As Beege reported last week, Joe Biden’s nuclear non-binary baggage burglar was busted again. (God, I loved that title.) But what are the authorities supposed to do with him? This wasn’t his first time standing before a judge, but thus far he had miraculously avoided having to do any time behind bars. His luck ran out in Maryland yesterday, though. A Montgomery County Sheriff’s Department official told the NY Post that Brinton is to be held while awaiting the next step in the legal proceedings. He is currently on a “pre-placement hold” at the county jail and they plan to have him in with the general population next week. But which jail? The men’s or the women’s? Turns out that Brinton is still “intact” (my apologies to any readers who just gagged) and they jail criminals based on their “biological sex” and not their fabulous fashion sensibilities. So Sam Brinton will be in the men’s jail.
Non-binary former nuclear official Sam Brinton is to be placed in a men’s jail in Maryland while waiting to be sent to Virginia over suitcase theft charges.
A Montgomery County Sheriff’s deputy told The Post Tuesday that Brinton is in a “pre-placement” hold at the county jail and should be housed with the “general population” of the men’s jail sometime next week.
Under the Montgomery County Department of Correction and Rehabilitation policy, inmates are processed and housed according to their biological sex.
The Sheriff’s Department is currently weighing whether or not Brinton might “present a management or security problem” and whether or not his “health and safety” can be ensured. You can easily see how those might be concerns for someone like Brinton in the crowbar motel.
Then again, I would assume that Brinton will be issued the standard orange jumpsuit that the other inmates have to wear. I mean, they’re not going to let him sashay around the jail in the designer gowns he heisted (allegedly) from that Tanzanian designer lady, right? And that’s no doubt a good thing. Acting out in that fashion could lead to some serious issues when heading for the showers if you know what I mean.
But he’s also become pretty famous over the past couple of years, though for all the wrong reasons. The rumor mill tends to be pretty active in jails and prisons. What are the odds that nobody will recognize him? I’m pretty sure that’s not the sort of “attention” he’s craving. Then again, what do I know? I’m just an audience member in this clown show like the rest of you.
This may turn out to be a long-term arrangement. The charges in question deal with the theft of the custom fashionwear of the aforementioned designer, Asya Khamsin. Those clothes were one-of-a-kind and they were worth a pretty penny. The charges he’s facing add up to Grand Larceny. And under Maryland law, a conviction on that count can net you up to twenty years in prison, a fine of up to $25,000, or both.
Normally, a person wouldn’t get anywhere near that stiff of a sentence as a first offender. But that’s Brinton’s main problem now. He has priors and they are for the exact same crime. The judge will have grounds to consider him a serial offender and throw the book at him. Sam Brinton may wind up with a very long time to reconsider the wisdom of preening for selfies in his heisted designer clothes. The real irony here is that if Joe Biden hadn’t picked him for a high-profile position at the Department of Energy, we might never have known about any of this. In fact, if Brinton hadn’t soared to internet fame for his outrageous antics, the victims wouldn’t have recognized their clothes and he probably never would have been caught.